Fight Me!!

I’m sick and tired of the duplicity. Take responsibility.

Men view, talk about and treat women how they observe their mothers/sisters/aunts/neighbours/coworkers/wives etc do. I wish more of us would admit this. Women perpetuate misogyny by being in constant competition with other women because we’re socialized to value being attractive to and selected by a man, any man, over our individual and collective well-being, dignity and agency. Read. That. Again. 

They feed on our misogyny and we enable them to treat *other* women poorly. And then are surprised when we are eventually on the receiving end of the same treatment – whether it’s by the same man we enabled or another one.

The women defending the horrendous actions of men are doing so from a place where they currently feel safe from that kind of behaviour. Many of them change their tune when the tables turn. But many of them are ashamed and double down when their narrative proves false in their own homes.

Men behave in this entitled, disgraceful manner because men support other men no matter what silly, dangerous, disgusting thing they’re doing. Videos and stories abound of men gassing other men to do the most ridiculous things in life. I rarely hear men criticize their male friends, especially in public. The ‘Bro Code’ is a real, living, evolving thing that men use to invariably and unflaggingly support other men.

Women, not so. In this day and age, countless stories exist about the strained relationship between women, even where there is a biological connection. We’re begging women to support other women. Women are some of the primary attackers of feminism. We see women speaking in support of pedophiles, rapists and other sexual predators while verbally and emotionally attacking the victims and survivors of trauma. Empowerment has become a new byline, trying to drum up support for women to support women. Really…

And these are the women who are raising the men that go out into the world. They enter society with a low opinion of women because they spent their formative years listening to their female friends, family members and acquaintances bash, disdain and criticize other women. Inversely, they learned the ‘Bro Code’ early and are therefore taught to almost blindly support and encourage other men, and speak respectfully to and about them at all times.

Until we, as women, get to a point where we respect each other as much as men respect other men, we will continue to suffer at the hands of the patriarchy and fall prey to the machinations of entitled men who believe that we are less because they are told that we are less by other women. Men who use our internalized misogyny to their advantage and manipulate us into remaining in competition with each other. Men who have realized that if they say the right things and behave the right way to ‘their’ women, and treat ‘other’ women badly, they can continue to divide and rule while we continue to snipe, compete with and back-stab each other while raising a new generation of males with the same attitudes.

The time has come to take responsibility. To stand together finally. The next time you open your mouth to speak ill of another woman, stop, think about what you’re about to say, why you’re saying it and who is around you to hear it. Can you help that woman instead of criticize her? Can you lend support instead of trying to dime her light so you can appear to shine brighter?

I’m sick of the shit women sling at other women and if you can’t see this truth and do your part to make things better, step aside and allow those of us who want to live in our power and potential to rise and make this world a better place. I know some of you will be angry, and disagree with me. I don’t care anymore. If you have a problem with me wanting to help fill this world with empowered women and men who respect us, fight me!