I Am…

I’m a self-possessed, stubborn, facetious bit of baggage so I’m no stranger to having various unflattering adjectives leveled at me. In general I don’t give a fuck because of all the lessons I’ve learned in life, realizing that my opinion of myself matters most of all, is one of the most important. I do not have time to concern my self with the egos and expectations of others. My primary goal in life is to be content. That cannot happen if I prioritize the perceptions of others over my own personal expectations.

We live in the age of capitalism and consumerism. The internet age, where everyone else is perfect and beautiful and happy and we’re just trundling along trying to catch up… That’s the illusion at least. Every ad on TV seeks to highlight what we do not have, have not accomplished, did not do. We are expected at all times to focus on what we lack so we can spend time and money chasing society’s definition of ‘perfection’; a society, by the way, that is obviously, unarguably flawed and fragile.

The result – an almost palpable unhappiness. Having stared into the abyss that is depression and dragged myself back from it by inches, I can attest that not a single solitary soul is responsible for my joy except me. I’m grateful to the ones who helped. The lights at the end of the tunnel. The pillars of friendship that I leaned on when I couldn’t hold myself up sometimes. But at the very core of my recovery was a decision to stop focusing on what I lacked and start focusing on who I Am. It became about ignoring the external and internal criticism and instead start celebrating the achievements. It’s about adopting and nurturing an attitude of gratitude and learning to take pride in even the smallest of accomplishments. There are enough critics in the world. We need some cheerleaders. And we need to be our own biggest supporter. One way I’ve found to mark the good in my days is via this awesome website http://www.gratefulness.io/. Check it out…

For everything that you’re not, there are so many more things that you are. The very consciousness that allows you to contemplate your existence is an amazing thing in and of itself. Instead of using that ability to focus on what isn’t, use it to find contentment in what is. Life, the fullness of it, will never be about who is prettier or richer or has the perfect body. At least, it shouldn’t be. Just for a little while, forget what society expects and demands of you and live according to who you already are. Life is an individual experience and only we can perfect it within ourselves. Take some time, even just a day to start with, to celebrate what is good instead of lamenting what’s bad. Take some time to honour your own self, to stop and admire your achievements, your talents. Before you spend time focusing on who you should or could be, learn to love yourself just as you are…


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