As Tactful As I Can Be

I’m not drafting this one. Every word of this is fresh, raw and unfiltered. It deserves to be. It has to be. I’m female, and like most of my gender, I am a survivor. I’ve survived sexual assault, sexual misconduct and sexual abuse. And to hear ANYONE stand up and compare the misogynistic and predatory and terrifying behaviour of the Republican Presidential nominee to Hillary Clinton, for anyone at all to think that his ilk is fit to run a country, is a part of the problem.

That person is the builder and supporter of glass ceilings. That person is the facilitator of gender inequality. That person is an enabler of rape culture and violence against women. That person, is usually a male. And most recently, the ones left flagging are the ‘Christian’/evangelical males. That they possess the capacity to justify and/or look beyond his words and actions is beyond me. That they believe they have the authority to compare him to Mrs. Clinton is hypocrisy in it’s purest, ugliest, vilest form.

Not a single one of them has any point of reference. They cannot begin to fathom the disgust, the terror, the trepidation that most women feel when we look at ‘him’, or hear ‘him’ speak, or consider even the possibility that ‘he’ will be the next Commander in Chief. They cannot understand what it is like to be marginalized, overlooked, abused, used. They cannot imagine the fear we live in just by virtue of our gender. There is NO comparison. Whatever Mrs. Clinton is – corrupt, shady, incompetent – her words and actions do not foretell a society where race and gender will predominantly become automatic determinants of your fate; they do not sound a death knell for even the possibility of equality and fairness.

None of the males standing up and attempting to justify their support of ‘him’ will understand what it is like to have your first sexual contact be non-consensual. They cannot understand the terrible fear of being grabbed by someone who is hell bent on ‘feeling you up’. They do not understand what it is like in that split second to wonder if this will be the day, if this will be the instance, where you experience that awful, life changing, sometimes life wrecking experience. They do not understand what it is like to come to terms with the actual experience, in one or more of the many forms it can take, to look it in the face and pick up the pieces and still be, still exist, still function, still thrive.

They couldn’t possibly understand any of that and still think this animal is a viable candidate for the highest office of anywhere. They do not understand that ‘his’ very existence and popularity are a threat to us. That all the males (and I’ve seen them crawling out of their holes) who think the way ‘he’ does will be validated and empowered. That the gains we’ve made, though few, would be eroded. That the fear many of us have learned to live with, have beaten back or have even conquered, would come rushing back to the fore, hovering over us as we go about our days.

There are no worlds in which I will ever find it possible to compare ‘his’ fitness as a candidate for anything to anyone else’s unless that other person is similarly narcissistic, psychopathic and/or sociopathic. So the ‘Christians’ can allow ‘him’ to complete the destruction of the religion in the same way he’s wrecking the Republican party. Maybe this will serve as a means of purging the ‘Good Old Boys Club’ of some of its top members. Maybe both institutions will rebuild something better and fairer and stronger. Or maybe they’ll just return with the same bullshit until another of his kind comes and tears them down again.