When something is bothering you so much you can’t get to sleep…
You scared me today (again) when you blocked the exit (again) as I was trying to get past. Even though there were other people around, you scared me. I fear you on a primal level, one that does not know your motives and does not appreciate your actions.
My entire being is poised for flight each time I anticipate our inevitable interaction. I understand that you may not understand my fear. You think you’re being friendly, I see a person with no respect for (my) personal boundaries. You think I should be pleased by your compliments about my face and my body, I feel assaulted by your words and your leering eyes. You think you are making me feel good about myself. You’re not. I’m afraid.
How does a pleasant response to an unsolicited compliment result in a daily onslaught of verbal and physical advances? Why should my gracious, but professional acceptance of your comment about my appearance cause you to think that we are somehow now able to interact on a level beyond workplace courtesy? Why do you keep attempting to be flirtatious when I no longer even make eye contact with you, when I no longer smile pleasantly at your remarks.
But how do I ask you to stop? I don’t know you. I don’t know what you’re capable of. I don’t know what your reaction will be. Should I report you to your boss? To mine? Suppose you find out? If you’re reprimanded, relocated or lose your job, will my life be in danger? YOU CARRY A GUN. How do I take that chance? You’re there to provide security but I do not feel secure because of your presence. No. I feel fear…
4 thoughts on “You Carry A Gun…”
The first step is to inform the person politely but sternly that you do not appreciate their advances and that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes it’s that simple. But in these circumstances I don’t feel like it would work. And because of the dynamics of the environment, I’m just on edge about this one.
Wow. This is totally not OK! And frightening! I certainly understand how you feel, and I think I’d feel the same way we’re I in your place. You’ve been polite and now avoid basic human connection in the hopes he would “get bored” and just leave you alone…and that’s not happening. Yet speaking up firmly to say, “Please leave me alone.” has its risks, especially because he has a gun and we know how fragile so many male egos are these days.
No man, this is unnecessarily stressful. If possible, try to speak to his boss privately and anonymously to ask that he be reassigned or something. Perhaps try to walk by him with a friend or coworker, or (pretend to) be on the phone as you walk by. Laux.