Human interaction confounds me with its capacity for negativity. There are so many negative emotions floating around out there sometimes it’s hard to interact with people. We all know that one person – you see them coming and wonder if there’s anything you can do to avoid them and if not, look busy enough that they won’t feel like you have time to talk.
But of all the negative emotions I’ve encountered, jealousy is the one that still stumps me. I honestly can’t recall ever being as caught up in it as some people appear to be. I can only infer that social media is providing endless sustenance for this ugly green-eyed monster since that’s where it seems to come out the most.
Limited resources but unlimited capacity for want seems to be the source, but the ugliest iteration of it is jealousy in relationships. It seems like no one is quite satisfied anymore. It doesn’t matter how good your partner is, the assumption seems to be that there’s always better so you have to keep looking. Of course, the current partner starts to feel insecure and then comes the jealousy. And that always seems to be the root of it –insecurity. It’s possible that some people are predisposed to it, that even if the conditions facilitate security they will still feel jealous. Past experience will always colour our present actions – whether we’re choosing to learn from them and act accordingly or hold on to them and act out negatively.
What I don’t understand is this – if we know an action will cause a negative reaction, why do we do it? If we’re happy with what we have, why do we keep searching? If we’re not happy, why not focus on finding what makes us happy instead of half-assing something that we’ll give up in a heartbeat anyway? Why stay in a relationship with someone whose actions nurture jealousy? If you’re constantly feeling a negative emotion why not take steps to address the circumstances around which the emotions occur?
I’ve observed and experienced people deliberately exploiting insecurities – whether it makes them feel powerful or they just enjoy forcing a reaction out of another person. It’s destructive. So, I’ve learned that I cannot and should not try to control anyone’s actions or feelings but that at all times I should honour my own feelings and be cognizant of the emotions my actions will evoke.
3 thoughts on “Jealousy…”
Jealousy isn’t called the Green-Eyed Monster for nothing. It’s a complicated emotion that does more harm than good. There are people that believe if you are not a little jealous of your partner, it means you don’t love them enough.
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I’ve heard that, or some variation of it from both genders and I still don’t understand. But the comment always seems to come from a place of insecurity; sometimes the insecurity is internal, but just as often it’s created by the current state of the relationship or the current partner. It’s not that I don’t have insecurities. It’s just that I realize when someone is exploiting or manipulating them or is just plain inconsiderate. What’s the point of getting upset about/because of someone who doesn’t facilitate my confidence in the relationship?
Jealousy…..it usually starts with a lie.
1. “I’m not the jealous time”
2. ” I’m jealous beacuase I really really care”
3. “I’m not jealous, just concerned ”
Popular “go to lines”…